It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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