Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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