The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
