Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
