he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
