Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
