her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
