tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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