im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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