I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Randomize