oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
