This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
