Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
