dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
