I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
