her vagine was all disorganized.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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