yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
