I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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