you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
