I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Randomize
