just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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