his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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