Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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