I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Randomize
