Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
