Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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