So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Randomize
