we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
His hands were made for my vagina.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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