Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
