i permit you to call me
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
