ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
