Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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