dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
