I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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