I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
