just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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