He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
sarcasm needs its own font
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I am one with the molecules
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
