Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Randomize
