glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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