But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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