I wish I could punch you in the face.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
