Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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