She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
