She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
