Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
