STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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