My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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