my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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