You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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