i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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