Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize
