i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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