planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
